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Why Wheezy Will Correct Your Child7/14/2009

1.  I have to correct your child if he is ruining my meal.

Kids need to learn how to eat in restaurants, but Applebees isn’t the place where you teach them.  Don’t allow food throwing, crawling under the table, digging in other people’s plates or yelling at the table at home.   Until you can get a handle on the mealtime ruckus, get a babysitter. 

Warning:  Scruffians who act out in restaurants and grocery stores are tiny versions of the folks who get locked up for disorderly conduct.

2.     I have to correct your child if she is hurting another child or an animal.  I saw a little boy repeatedly pull his sister’s pants down in the middle of Walmart.  She’d scream about her naked behind being exposed and he’d just do it again.  Mom couldn’t care less because she was pawing through a pile of sweatpants!  Even if the parent can ignore it you’ve got to let the child know that the rest of society won’t tolerate that kind of behavior.  Hitting, kicking, pushing, biting, or pulling somebody else’s pants and panties down IS NOT OKAY!

Warning:  Those aren’t toothless actors getting arrested on cops.  Those are the former playground bullies.

3.  I will correct your child if he is destroying my home or tearing up a department store.  Unacceptable behavior includes greasy little hands on the walls, ripping clothes off of racks, standing on furniture, urinating in my closet, squirting lotion on my mirror (those last two are personal).  You simply can’t let your child run wild in someone else's home or at a store. Kids need to be taught to respect their own property and the property of others. 

Warning:  The fuzz calls this offense, vandalism.

4.     I will have to correct your child if she’s disrespecting me.  If your child’s cutest expressions are curse words or if sticking out his tongue is his favorite way to say hello, then your little scruffian needs to steer clear of Wheezy.  Don’t let your child talk back to you so they won’t be tempted to talk nasty to me.  

Warning:  Cops call this one…. Officer needs back up, we can’t pull Wheezy off of this kid! 

If your child is respectful then I won't be tempted to serve up some Granny Punch!   Here's the recipe for Granny Punch:

A little sugar to keep them sweet

Heaping spoonfuls of 
the fruits of discipline and love 

Add a large can of whoop-ass if they get out of line!


There’s an African proverb that says “It takes a village to raise a child.” So even though it can be embarrassing when another adult corrects your child, be thankful for the help.  It makes your job as a parent easier.  Scruffians can manipulate even the sweetest kids into breaking the rules.  That’s why it’s important for YOU to correct other people’s kids too!