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Why Am I Still Single?10/4/2006

Ladies, take it from a seasoned cougar who knows the hunt.† Your single status boils down to three issues:

  • Your application
  • Your determination
  • Your communication

Letís start with APPLICATION.
Are you applying too much or not enough make-up?† Men are visual.† Women fall in love with security while men fall in love with sexuality.† You have to pay attention to the way you look when you are† hunting for cougar meat.† Listen to Justin Timberlake and bring "Sexy Back!"† Donít show up at Home Depot or Target on a Saturday morning looking frighteningly frumpy.†† You have to wear the right hunting gear.† The two things you need for the hunt are tight jeans and a bra that accentuates your floppies!† Just put on a little make-up, style your hair and bait that prey.† In the movies, the man can always see how beautiful the woman is, despite her baseball cap and baggy sweats. In reality the man is hiding in the lumber department hoping the† frump-monster doesnít get him.

What about your DETERMINATION?† Are you determined to meet somebody new?† Desperate and needy is not the way to go.† However, you do need to be confident and open to meeting different men.†† It simply must be a priorty.† What about joining a singles group at a church or getting involved with a singles activity group?† There are plenty of internet sites for singles as well.† I read somewhere that there are more men on the internet than women.† Sure there are some cooks on the internet too, but there are cooks everywhere!†††

Youíve got to be determined to go to the places where you can find men?† So learn golf.† Join a gym.† Go to your class reunion!† Do some shopping at Dicks, the sporting goods store.†† Hit a sports bar on a football Sunday.† Pick up a single dad at back to school night or Ci-Ciís pizza.†† Volunteer to work for a political campaign or get involved with your favorite political party.†† Volunteer for the heart walk or the prostate cancer walk.† Just because there is a little snow on the roof, it doesnít mean thereís no fire in the furnace!

Determination is very important because you can't meet men by sitting back and doing nothing.† Sorry Cinderella, but there is no prince going door-to-door trying to find a princess who wears a size ten shoe!† Donít be a lazy dater?†

Finally, you need to address your COMMUNICATION.† Everyone who knows you, should know that you would like to meet a nice man.† Put your friends, family members and your co-workers to work helping you to find a mate!† When they want to fix you up, you only need to say five words, "WHO, WHEN, WHERE, WHAT TIME?"

Pick up the† phone and call some people and let them know you would like to meet some men.† Use a script like the telemarketers do if you need to.† I call it, "wed-a-marketing."

Here is a sample script:

"Hello, this is (insert your name). What have you been up to lately?† Well, Iíve been trying to meet a nice guy to date, but so far I havenít met anyone.† If you know a smart, funny guy, please let me know.††† Okay?"†

Itís that easy!† Just make sure you call your married friends first.† Your single friends canít help YOU if they canít help themselves!